Day 334 of 365 - Seeking Serenity
I've always admired the apparent serenity of images of the Buddha, saints or meditating monks or yogis and envy their ability to be still for long periods. My assumption is that they have achieved nirvana and no longer have to deal with the insufferable monkey mind. This may or may not be true, but it's my fantasy.
Stillness is not one of my strengths. There are times, when I'm totally absorbed in something, or soundly asleep that I might be still for longer periods. But, even in sleep, unless I've taken my U Dream supplement, which is only once a week, I toss and turn much of the night with some discomfort or other.
Even when I'm sitting still, trying to meditate or relax, my mind is usually busy, busy, busy. That can get pretty tiresome, so I am usually better off just being up and doing something.
Although I sometimes fantasize about going on a long meditative retreat, thinking of an endpoint of peace and serenity, I imagine the journey from point A to point B could be quite challenging for me. One of the challenges in stillness is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. This includes facing and feeling whatever happens to come up into awareness. When we do take time to be still, things tend to bubble up from the subconscious mind to be addressed. I'm aware that my busy work may be a way of bypassing dealing with those sorts of things.
I get a weekly Buddhist newsletter, which often has writings about meditation challenges. From it I know that dealing with disruptive thoughts and feelings is not at all uncommon, and that it can be a long journey to that serene state I admire. Our downfall is when we buy into negative or limiting story lines that go along with those thoughts. Buddhist nun, Pema Chödrön, is a master teacher of developing our skills amidst everyday struggles. She inspires me. One of her pieces of advice, from her own training, is to look for the gaps.
Looking for the gaps refers to the gap at the end of each breath, the space between thoughts, moments of awe. Doing so helps us to be present without a big internal conversation going on. By focusing on the gaps, eventually we respond less often to the impulse to jump on the thought train.
Chödrön also talks about the discrepancy between our ideals and what we actually encounter. She calls this the big squeeze, between vision and reality and says it is one of the most productive places for us, as it causes us to wake up to compassion for self and others. It seems that I'm in the big squeeze often.
Acknowledging what comes up and cultivating friendliness towards it is part of the process. Rather than my judging point A as bad and point B as good, it's more realistic and helpful to see it all as life and accept that we can be seeking the serenity of divinity while living our humanity.
Stillness is not one of my strengths. There are times, when I'm totally absorbed in something, or soundly asleep that I might be still for longer periods. But, even in sleep, unless I've taken my U Dream supplement, which is only once a week, I toss and turn much of the night with some discomfort or other.
Even when I'm sitting still, trying to meditate or relax, my mind is usually busy, busy, busy. That can get pretty tiresome, so I am usually better off just being up and doing something.
Although I sometimes fantasize about going on a long meditative retreat, thinking of an endpoint of peace and serenity, I imagine the journey from point A to point B could be quite challenging for me. One of the challenges in stillness is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. This includes facing and feeling whatever happens to come up into awareness. When we do take time to be still, things tend to bubble up from the subconscious mind to be addressed. I'm aware that my busy work may be a way of bypassing dealing with those sorts of things.
I get a weekly Buddhist newsletter, which often has writings about meditation challenges. From it I know that dealing with disruptive thoughts and feelings is not at all uncommon, and that it can be a long journey to that serene state I admire. Our downfall is when we buy into negative or limiting story lines that go along with those thoughts. Buddhist nun, Pema Chödrön, is a master teacher of developing our skills amidst everyday struggles. She inspires me. One of her pieces of advice, from her own training, is to look for the gaps.
Looking for the gaps refers to the gap at the end of each breath, the space between thoughts, moments of awe. Doing so helps us to be present without a big internal conversation going on. By focusing on the gaps, eventually we respond less often to the impulse to jump on the thought train.
Chödrön also talks about the discrepancy between our ideals and what we actually encounter. She calls this the big squeeze, between vision and reality and says it is one of the most productive places for us, as it causes us to wake up to compassion for self and others. It seems that I'm in the big squeeze often.
Acknowledging what comes up and cultivating friendliness towards it is part of the process. Rather than my judging point A as bad and point B as good, it's more realistic and helpful to see it all as life and accept that we can be seeking the serenity of divinity while living our humanity.
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