Day 212 of 365 - Elder Wisdom
A book on a shelf in my home recently caught my attention. We had had it for some time, but I had not read it. It was no doubt one of my husband's picks, after hearing the author interviewed on public radio. The book is called 30 Lessons for Living.
Rather than being like many of my self-help or health and wellness books, this one takes a different expert perspective - that of elders who have lived a long life and can speak from their experience. Over 1000 individuals over 65 answered questions about important life lessons. Mind you, at almost 65, I will soon be in their company. Nevertheless, there is wisdom for me too in their experience.
There are different categories of advice in the book: marriage, career, parenting, aging well, living without regrets, choosing happiness and end of life. For the purposes of today's post, I chose to look at the chapter on aging well, since that has particular relevance for me.
A lot of us baby boomers have a hard time believing that we're growing old. Contemporary society is only too happy to support this, by promoting expressions like '60 is the new 40' and the like, along with many 'how to stay young' strategies. What the elders tell us though, is that being older is much better than we think, and we shouldn't waste so much time worrying about it. Many find a sense of calm and easiness about it that was unexpected. They have found it to be an adventure, with lots of new opportunities.
Another lesson, which I can wholeheartedly embrace is, that it's not dying we should be worrying about. It's chronic disease. They advise that lifestyle choices early will affect quality of life later. People often excuse their bad habits by saying they are going to die anyway. That's true, but instead of dying early, you may live 20 - 30 years in very poor health. Many could recount examples of this from their own lives, or that of loved ones.
The other big thing most of us worry about, besides getting old, is, dying. The elders say that the fear of death generally decreases with advancing age. It is more important to worry about tidying up your life, so others don't have to do it when you are gone. That has been one of my motivations in downsizing and purging in the last several years. I also got another good reminder to plan for other aspects of ending life, such as updating our wills, proxies for care and financial planning. We have older versions of these, but they need to be reviewed.
Another piece of wisdom from the elders is, to stay connected, via meaningful roles and satisfying relationships. Social isolation impacts health. They advise creating structure around remaining socially active, accepting invitations and taking advantage of learning opportunities. Most of my social interaction occurs around the structure of my fitness classes and café time with friends. But, if I wanted to, I could also take advantage of a variety of social activities or classes offered through the library or city recreational programs.
The final recommendations from the chapter on aging well, is to plan for where to live - again, so others don't have to choose for you. They spoke of the many benefits of a senior living environment, even to those who were not initially enamored with the idea. I am grateful that we already made the move out of a house, before we were unable to maintain ourselves there. As long as we are in reasonable health and can afford to do so, we will continue apartment living. When we become less able to partake in community activities, there are a variety of social and physical activity options right within our building. The step beyond that, of moving into a supported living situation, is one I still strongly resist exploring.
So, there you have it; some nuggets of life lessons from a large pool of elders who have lived it. May we all age well and wisely.
Rather than being like many of my self-help or health and wellness books, this one takes a different expert perspective - that of elders who have lived a long life and can speak from their experience. Over 1000 individuals over 65 answered questions about important life lessons. Mind you, at almost 65, I will soon be in their company. Nevertheless, there is wisdom for me too in their experience.
There are different categories of advice in the book: marriage, career, parenting, aging well, living without regrets, choosing happiness and end of life. For the purposes of today's post, I chose to look at the chapter on aging well, since that has particular relevance for me.
A lot of us baby boomers have a hard time believing that we're growing old. Contemporary society is only too happy to support this, by promoting expressions like '60 is the new 40' and the like, along with many 'how to stay young' strategies. What the elders tell us though, is that being older is much better than we think, and we shouldn't waste so much time worrying about it. Many find a sense of calm and easiness about it that was unexpected. They have found it to be an adventure, with lots of new opportunities.
Another lesson, which I can wholeheartedly embrace is, that it's not dying we should be worrying about. It's chronic disease. They advise that lifestyle choices early will affect quality of life later. People often excuse their bad habits by saying they are going to die anyway. That's true, but instead of dying early, you may live 20 - 30 years in very poor health. Many could recount examples of this from their own lives, or that of loved ones.
The other big thing most of us worry about, besides getting old, is, dying. The elders say that the fear of death generally decreases with advancing age. It is more important to worry about tidying up your life, so others don't have to do it when you are gone. That has been one of my motivations in downsizing and purging in the last several years. I also got another good reminder to plan for other aspects of ending life, such as updating our wills, proxies for care and financial planning. We have older versions of these, but they need to be reviewed.
Another piece of wisdom from the elders is, to stay connected, via meaningful roles and satisfying relationships. Social isolation impacts health. They advise creating structure around remaining socially active, accepting invitations and taking advantage of learning opportunities. Most of my social interaction occurs around the structure of my fitness classes and café time with friends. But, if I wanted to, I could also take advantage of a variety of social activities or classes offered through the library or city recreational programs.
The final recommendations from the chapter on aging well, is to plan for where to live - again, so others don't have to choose for you. They spoke of the many benefits of a senior living environment, even to those who were not initially enamored with the idea. I am grateful that we already made the move out of a house, before we were unable to maintain ourselves there. As long as we are in reasonable health and can afford to do so, we will continue apartment living. When we become less able to partake in community activities, there are a variety of social and physical activity options right within our building. The step beyond that, of moving into a supported living situation, is one I still strongly resist exploring.
So, there you have it; some nuggets of life lessons from a large pool of elders who have lived it. May we all age well and wisely.
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