Day 204 of 365 - Empathy, Creativity and Self-Control
According to cell biologist Erin Clabough, PhD, who has written a book called Second Nature, empathy, creativity and self-control are the fundamental pillars for all the positive social skills we want to have. Why is a cell biologist talking about this? It's because she is a parent who has put a lot of thought into what kind of life skills she wants her kids to have, as well as how to go about helping them establish them.
I have to admit, I'd never thought about applying neuroscience to child development in just this way, but hearing her present, it did make sense. She nicely tied all three together. For example, she made the point that creativity is a foundation for self-control and empathy. Her definition of creativity leans towards effective problem solving, reflection, and learning to fail.
Three versions of empathy were defined. Firstly, emotional empathy which is a pull towards someone or something. Secondly, cognitive empathy, when you think about emotions. Then, applied empathy which is one of those two, plus action, and is an act of compassion. This also requires self-control and creativity.
Self-control is a decision, based on the ability to see the impact of your actions (empathy), or, your ability to imagine a better outcome (creativity).
Clabough asserts that self-regulation is the culmination of those three pillar skills. What is unique about her approach is, that from a neuroscience perspective, they are teachable at a very young age through parents practicing with their children the skills they want them to have.
Nowadays, most of us have heard of the plasticity of the brain. Our neural connections are always being refined, from birth through adulthood. Our brain circuits and pathways are established and strengthened by being stimulated over and over. Empathy, creativity and self-control are brain activities which can become default ones with repeated practice. You keep what you need and use.
So, what would this look like in family life? For sure, it puts more onus on parents to model those foundation skills they want their kids to learn. Mostly, it involves taking advantage of brief opportunities which arise in the course of family time together, for just a couple of minutes at a time, maybe only one skill a day. Let kids make some decisions independently and see the difference between different outcomes. Provide some structure for creative problem solving and then back off. Encourage reflection and mindfulness about actions and interactions. Allow kids to be bored, to have free time and to come up with different options, rather than totally structuring their days.
What you are exposed to and how often, is what matters in establishing those brain circuits. But, good behavioral modeling from parents and focusing on key areas when it's important, for only a short bit of time will pay off.
Aside from applying these ideas to child-rearing, they are food for thought for us at any age. Although as we go through the years, old habits are more established, it is still possible to create new ones and to practice these skills if this is something we want to grow.
I have to admit, I'd never thought about applying neuroscience to child development in just this way, but hearing her present, it did make sense. She nicely tied all three together. For example, she made the point that creativity is a foundation for self-control and empathy. Her definition of creativity leans towards effective problem solving, reflection, and learning to fail.
Three versions of empathy were defined. Firstly, emotional empathy which is a pull towards someone or something. Secondly, cognitive empathy, when you think about emotions. Then, applied empathy which is one of those two, plus action, and is an act of compassion. This also requires self-control and creativity.
Self-control is a decision, based on the ability to see the impact of your actions (empathy), or, your ability to imagine a better outcome (creativity).
Clabough asserts that self-regulation is the culmination of those three pillar skills. What is unique about her approach is, that from a neuroscience perspective, they are teachable at a very young age through parents practicing with their children the skills they want them to have.
Nowadays, most of us have heard of the plasticity of the brain. Our neural connections are always being refined, from birth through adulthood. Our brain circuits and pathways are established and strengthened by being stimulated over and over. Empathy, creativity and self-control are brain activities which can become default ones with repeated practice. You keep what you need and use.
So, what would this look like in family life? For sure, it puts more onus on parents to model those foundation skills they want their kids to learn. Mostly, it involves taking advantage of brief opportunities which arise in the course of family time together, for just a couple of minutes at a time, maybe only one skill a day. Let kids make some decisions independently and see the difference between different outcomes. Provide some structure for creative problem solving and then back off. Encourage reflection and mindfulness about actions and interactions. Allow kids to be bored, to have free time and to come up with different options, rather than totally structuring their days.
What you are exposed to and how often, is what matters in establishing those brain circuits. But, good behavioral modeling from parents and focusing on key areas when it's important, for only a short bit of time will pay off.
Aside from applying these ideas to child-rearing, they are food for thought for us at any age. Although as we go through the years, old habits are more established, it is still possible to create new ones and to practice these skills if this is something we want to grow.
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