Day 188 of 365 - Free Time

Gee, I wonder if other people get stymied by having free time?  Yesterday, I got through my self assigned duties sooner than expected and had a surprising block of time available.  When this happens, I actually don't know what to do with myself at first.  It usually takes stumbling around among a few options before I settle on something.

This gives me pause, because, do I then really know how to honestly relax, or am I constantly in work mode?  I can only imagine that other people who are essentially work driven have a similar experience, but I have not actually asked.

Yes, I can relax when on vacation because the time has been planned to do so.  Mind you, we have not gone on one of those for quite some time.  What's got me pondering is the spontaneous free time scenario and my immediate reaction to it.  Should I keep a flexible 'to do' list for such moments?

Frankly, I would like to be able to just let go of the sense of obligation to fill my day with worthy tasks so that I can earn the reward of relaxing in the evening, or whenever I'm done.

First, I would need to overcome the feeling of guilt about not getting something done.  When I was in the working world, i.e. career, it drove me crazy when colleagues took extended coffee breaks and 'wasted' valuable work time when they could be more productive.  My habit is, to only really stop and turn off the work mode when I am worn out or sick.

I'm thinking that needs to change in retirement years, especially when my husband also retires.  Imagine how irritating it could be for him, when I'm buzzing around the apartment from one task to another and he's trying to relax with a book.  Oh wait, that already happens on weekends, but maybe seven days a week would be a bit much!  I guess we'll need to coordinate routines and sharing of chores.

Some people need to have a fire lit under them to get things done.  I need to work (there's that word again) on turning the dial down to simmer or off.  Uh oh, this really points out my not so tiny control issues, doesn't it?

Author Sonia Choquette, Ph.D., reminds me that energy moves in cycles and time is also part of the creative process.  Having challenges with releasing my personal efforts to make things happen limits my creativity and the possibility of serendipitous opportunities.

Since I really do want to learn to go more with the flow of life, I need to have more faith in that and learn to patiently wait for what is revealed as a next step.  Surrendering my belief that I need to work for and earn all the rewards of life seems a worthy goal.  Learning to relax with a block of free time would be a good start.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 53 of 365 - Christmas Decorating at Tortoise Pace

This past weekend the Facebook posts with photos of completed Christmas decorating began showing up.  Some people decorate every room of their common areas.  Some have up to three Christmas trees.  I admire those photos.  It's all very lovely and festive.  Those people are the hares in the race to Christmas.  I am the tortoise. I'm not judging.  People have their reasons for wanting to get it all done early.  That way they can enjoy gazing upon their holiday décor for several weeks.  Or, they may be entertaining with holiday parties or family get togethers on whatever date works for them. I love the holiday season, the lights, the decorations, the food, the general sense of magic in the air.  But this year I'm just having a little trouble getting the momentum going for decorating.  Before our first snow, which is now gone thanks to a few days of rain, I got excited and put up the balcony lights and garlands.  We have been e...
Read more

Day 86 of 365 - Year End Gratitude

Today I was out doing some of my usual weekend grocery and household shopping.  I noticed that the selection was more limited and that there were empty spaces and shelves.  Most of the holiday inventory that was added to aisles and end displays is disappearing, now at clearance prices.  Regular inventory shelves have not been fully restocked, probably due to some staff being on a vacation break. This made me realize how much we take for granted that everything we want will just 'be there' when we arrive at stores to shop.  It's part of our instant gratification culture here in North America, but it is certainly not at all typical in many other parts of the world.  We are so fortunate with all the choices we have, but we also just assume they will always be there. I felt grateful for the staff of the stores who are spending their shifts restocking the shelves for us.  I said a friendly hello to the produce manager at the grocery store, a man who goes out...
Read more

Day 13 of 365 - The Joy of Singing - Part 1

When I was growing up we had an old upright piano in our living room.  My mother had learned to play piano and organ as a young girl.  She continued to enjoy it as a past time during her years of homemaking and raising a family.  Often she would play from one of her songbooks and some of the children, usually the girls, would stand nearby singing and looking over her shoulder to read the lyrics. Those were fun times for me and I enjoyed singing melody lines and sometimes trying a harmony.  In elementary school I learned some basic sight reading of music and had some time in the school choir.  But, most of my singing happened at home or at church. I was raised as a Catholic and in my pre-teen and early teen years what were then known as folk choirs and now are better known as contemporary choirs came into vogue.  Our small town choir seemed to have limited access to that spiritual music genre and struggled by with a limited number of hymns/songs.  I...
Read more