Day 176 of 365 - Comfort Zones
We all have them, different ones for various situations. They are our comfort zones. Some are for social circumstances, some for work or volunteer scenarios, some for more personal, intimate situations and so on. It's very typical for our range of comfort to be wider in one area than another. It all comes down to the point at which we feel some kind of threat to our level of control, understanding or emotional security.
I think comfort zones are related to the boundaries we decide to set for ourselves, whether that is happening consciously or unconsciously. They are very personal. For example, I am usually someone who might not speak out very much in a new social situation. I am scoping out the situation and once I've ascertained it, may be more likely to speak up. As for physical comfort zones, I'm not a big risk taker there either. I wouldn't be one of those thrill seekers who wants to try some very challenging activity, like bungee jumping for example, until I have watched others do it and decide there is a graded and safe way to try it.
We identify our boundaries by paying attention to signals from our body, mind and emotions. This brings to mind the expression 'if it doesn't feel good, then don't do it'. But, if we want to grow, we need to expand our comfort zones. Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron says 'only when we step out of our comfort zone into an area of challenge, can we grow'. I think we can all relate to this as a developmental process over the course of our lives. Some we had a choice about and others we didn't.
When we graduated from elementary school and started high school, we had to expand our comfort zones about being in the midst of a bigger school and being in various classes with different people. Then there was the whole challenge of figuring out how we fit into the social hierarchy of teenagers.
Moving on to post-secondary school was a huge shift for me, involving moving from a very small town to a fairly big city, living with and attending school among total strangers. But, I really wanted to go to university, so I took the risk. Next there were the working environments, and finding my place there. Each successive job situation was somewhat easier as I developed confidence in my skills.
Now, as a senior, I don't place myself in challenging situations as often. I mostly prefer my routines and do not pursue the thrill of risk taking much. But, that's something to be mindful of as I grow older. Often, the comfort zones of seniors become smaller and smaller over time. It may be partly due to a gradual loss of independence due to health problems, or to a loss of social network due to the deaths of peers.
When we stop growing, life eventually gets dull. Our growth does not need to be associated with only very high risk situations. Chodron points out that it's really just about feeling where the edge of a zone is for you, and then stepping just a little beyond it. Our body and mind signals will alert us when we have reached our edge and also when we are settled in a new zone. It's not about constantly pushing ourselves, but rather, being kind to ourselves and then gently nudging towards a challenge.
Taking on this blog challenge was a step out of my comfort zone, and continues to be so on some days. But, I've made the commitment and will see it through, attempting to challenge myself in my choice of topics and sharing. Onward I go, one little baby step at at time!
I think comfort zones are related to the boundaries we decide to set for ourselves, whether that is happening consciously or unconsciously. They are very personal. For example, I am usually someone who might not speak out very much in a new social situation. I am scoping out the situation and once I've ascertained it, may be more likely to speak up. As for physical comfort zones, I'm not a big risk taker there either. I wouldn't be one of those thrill seekers who wants to try some very challenging activity, like bungee jumping for example, until I have watched others do it and decide there is a graded and safe way to try it.
We identify our boundaries by paying attention to signals from our body, mind and emotions. This brings to mind the expression 'if it doesn't feel good, then don't do it'. But, if we want to grow, we need to expand our comfort zones. Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron says 'only when we step out of our comfort zone into an area of challenge, can we grow'. I think we can all relate to this as a developmental process over the course of our lives. Some we had a choice about and others we didn't.
When we graduated from elementary school and started high school, we had to expand our comfort zones about being in the midst of a bigger school and being in various classes with different people. Then there was the whole challenge of figuring out how we fit into the social hierarchy of teenagers.
Moving on to post-secondary school was a huge shift for me, involving moving from a very small town to a fairly big city, living with and attending school among total strangers. But, I really wanted to go to university, so I took the risk. Next there were the working environments, and finding my place there. Each successive job situation was somewhat easier as I developed confidence in my skills.
Now, as a senior, I don't place myself in challenging situations as often. I mostly prefer my routines and do not pursue the thrill of risk taking much. But, that's something to be mindful of as I grow older. Often, the comfort zones of seniors become smaller and smaller over time. It may be partly due to a gradual loss of independence due to health problems, or to a loss of social network due to the deaths of peers.
When we stop growing, life eventually gets dull. Our growth does not need to be associated with only very high risk situations. Chodron points out that it's really just about feeling where the edge of a zone is for you, and then stepping just a little beyond it. Our body and mind signals will alert us when we have reached our edge and also when we are settled in a new zone. It's not about constantly pushing ourselves, but rather, being kind to ourselves and then gently nudging towards a challenge.
Taking on this blog challenge was a step out of my comfort zone, and continues to be so on some days. But, I've made the commitment and will see it through, attempting to challenge myself in my choice of topics and sharing. Onward I go, one little baby step at at time!
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