Day 174 of 365 - Life is in the Details
We would see the top of a head bobbing by the kitchen window, followed shortly thereafter by the sound of footfalls on the back steps and a quick knock on the back door. In would stroll a relative, friend or neighbor of my parents. The kettle would go on for tea or coffee and a visit would ensue. Sometimes these were expected arrivals, but oftentimes not. During these visits pleasantries would be exchanged, gossip shared and problems of all kinds discussed. This was all typical when I was growing up.
In current times, some aspects of life may try to convey to us that life is all about one big moment after another. Society, advertising, movies, TV and other media put a lot of emphasis on this. We are always encouraged to keep chasing after the next bigger, better job, income, home, car, vacation or relationship. But, the truth is that, while achieving those milestones may give us temporary satisfaction, it is not the space we live in most of the time.
Even if the life event is a negative one, like the illness or death of a friend or relative, we can only remain in the intensity of the situation for a limited time. It's just not sustainable to be on constant high alert and in a high degree of emotion.
Ultimately, we still need to live our day to day lives in all their somewhat tedious details. There are always meals to be cooked, laundry and housework to be done and the endless to-do list for those with jam-packed lives. Then too, there are routines outside the home like school, work, shopping and activities.
Sometimes running on the hamster wheel of daily routines can feel disappointing. Why should so much of my life energy be spent on those kinds of things? As writer Anne Lamott says, 'expectations are resentments under construction'. If we expect our lives to be focused on mainly the big events, it's inevitable that we'll resent the mundane ones. A way to shift our perspective is to acknowledge that most of life happens in the details of day to day living.
We are social beings. In the past, the regular kinds of contact my family had with others was commonplace. Now this kind of support needs to be cultivated. I keep reading about how important social connections are for the physical, mental and emotional health of seniors. It's actually true for all ages though.
Personally, I rely a lot on my routine social interactions which occur around the structure of classes that I attend and routines I have set. If I did not do those things my life would be much more limited. These social interactions provide support, fun, inspiration, advice and the opportunity to both give and receive.
As we get older, perhaps our list of expectations shifts. We have spent the first two thirds of our lives chasing and maybe acquiring some carrots. Now, we may be motivated to simply do more of what we enjoy. This does not mean giving up on adventure. It's just more on our own terms and in our own timing.
For those who are not able to go out to activities much, other means of maintaining contact with others is important to explore. That might happen through regular phone calls, emails or other forms of indirect communication; or when possible, by arranging for visits of friends to your home for face to face social time. Again, in this regard, we may need to shift our expectation away from the notion of preparing to entertain guests to simply enjoying spending time together. This could be done over a cup of tea or while helping complete a household task.
Those drop in visits to my parents' home did not disrupt routines too much. The visiting could continue while food was being prepared, laundry hung and so on. Most of the sharing was about day to day life. That's where we live after all, and the same is still true today.
In current times, some aspects of life may try to convey to us that life is all about one big moment after another. Society, advertising, movies, TV and other media put a lot of emphasis on this. We are always encouraged to keep chasing after the next bigger, better job, income, home, car, vacation or relationship. But, the truth is that, while achieving those milestones may give us temporary satisfaction, it is not the space we live in most of the time.
Even if the life event is a negative one, like the illness or death of a friend or relative, we can only remain in the intensity of the situation for a limited time. It's just not sustainable to be on constant high alert and in a high degree of emotion.
Ultimately, we still need to live our day to day lives in all their somewhat tedious details. There are always meals to be cooked, laundry and housework to be done and the endless to-do list for those with jam-packed lives. Then too, there are routines outside the home like school, work, shopping and activities.
Sometimes running on the hamster wheel of daily routines can feel disappointing. Why should so much of my life energy be spent on those kinds of things? As writer Anne Lamott says, 'expectations are resentments under construction'. If we expect our lives to be focused on mainly the big events, it's inevitable that we'll resent the mundane ones. A way to shift our perspective is to acknowledge that most of life happens in the details of day to day living.
We are social beings. In the past, the regular kinds of contact my family had with others was commonplace. Now this kind of support needs to be cultivated. I keep reading about how important social connections are for the physical, mental and emotional health of seniors. It's actually true for all ages though.
Personally, I rely a lot on my routine social interactions which occur around the structure of classes that I attend and routines I have set. If I did not do those things my life would be much more limited. These social interactions provide support, fun, inspiration, advice and the opportunity to both give and receive.
As we get older, perhaps our list of expectations shifts. We have spent the first two thirds of our lives chasing and maybe acquiring some carrots. Now, we may be motivated to simply do more of what we enjoy. This does not mean giving up on adventure. It's just more on our own terms and in our own timing.
For those who are not able to go out to activities much, other means of maintaining contact with others is important to explore. That might happen through regular phone calls, emails or other forms of indirect communication; or when possible, by arranging for visits of friends to your home for face to face social time. Again, in this regard, we may need to shift our expectation away from the notion of preparing to entertain guests to simply enjoying spending time together. This could be done over a cup of tea or while helping complete a household task.
Those drop in visits to my parents' home did not disrupt routines too much. The visiting could continue while food was being prepared, laundry hung and so on. Most of the sharing was about day to day life. That's where we live after all, and the same is still true today.
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