Day 165 of 365 - Seeing the Beauty
I am an identical twin. Growing up as a child, I remember us getting a lot of attention for that, mainly related to people having trouble telling us apart, or how cute our identical outfits were.
When we were young, our mother sewed most of our clothes. We dressed identically every day until in our teens we decided we each wanted to express our individuality. Until then, my identity was primarily as a twin. In those preteen years this did not disturb me. I was very close to my twin sister and we tolerated the twin treatment together.
Our facial appearance was plain and after needing eyeglasses upon starting school, those accessories added to the bookworm, plain Jane appearance. We were recognized more for academic achievement rather than any sort of beauty as we both loved school and excelled there.
Because we chose different course directions in high school, we no longer had the same classes, at least after Grade Nine. This allowed us to be seen more as individuals, instead of as a fascinating unit. We also chose different eyeglasses.
One very distinguishing mark I do have is a large purplish birth mark, starting on my right hand and going to my upper arm. It's flat and looks like clouds against the tone of my skin. Starting at a very young age, it was often covered by a sleeve for photos. I guess it was considered distracting from the focus on our similarity. However, there was never any suggestion of trying to remove it, as it does not pose any health risk. It is simply part of who I am, and even as I grew into adulthood, I did not see a reason to try to eliminate it. It is seldom commented upon, except for people meeting me the first time who are curious about it.
My perception of myself as plain and otherwise unremarkable in appearance persisted into adulthood. I enjoyed new fashion trends along with everyone else, but more typically did not choose items to make me stand out, with only a few exceptions.
Although I wore makeup, it was mainly to conceal blemishes and never more elaborate except for a special dress up occasion. My mother always wore lipstick and powdered her face before going out. That was a habit I did pick up from her. Eventually, I decided that I didn't mind accentuating my eyes by using eyebrow pencil. I never really could get comfortable with mascara or eye shadow and couldn't see the point anyway, since I wore glasses. However, I have retained the daily lipstick and eyebrow pencil practice, which remains important to me today.
Until recently, though I'd read about it previously, I did not pay much attention to the concept of mirror work. I've come across it in books written by a few personal development authors. Various kinds of exercises are suggested, which range from: looking at your face or whole body in a mirror until you can identify a certain number of positive characteristics or things you at least like, if not love, about yourself; to repeating statements of self-love or affirmations to yourself; to pretending to have a challenging conversation to overcome fear of expressing yourself.
The purpose behind all these sorts of exercises is, to nurture self-esteem and to recognize your unique beauty and characteristics. Mirror work is one of those things purported to bring amazing results if you stick with it long enough to get past your initial uneasiness or skepticism about it. I can't say that I've spent a lot of time on mirror work yet but, in the last few years I've gotten more comfortable with actually looking more when I put moisturizer on my face, when I'm blow drying my hair, or when I practice my singing in the bathroom (the acoustics are good there!).
It is perhaps always easier to see the beauty in others over ourselves. However, we are all unique individuals, even me as a twin, and part of recognizing my authenticity is in acknowledging my own characteristics of personality and appearance. It has been easier for me over the years to focus on spiritual authenticity than appearance.
A spiritual teacher whom I have quoted before, Eric Klein, recently wrote a post on the cosmos within. He was making a connection between the microcosm and the macrocosm. We exist in the universe of the earth, planets and sky. There is also the inner universe, in the form of the chakras, or energy centers. He posits that the outer is a duplicate of the inner and says that when the lower chakras are illuminated by the higher ones, we bring forth their gifts to better serve both the inner and outer worlds.
The lower energy centers, related to the needs of the body, emotions related to safety and security and personal power tend to be predominant. When the higher centers of heart connection, compassion, communication capacity and discernment are more active, there is a deeper sense of connection with life. When I use my Reiki practice on myself daily I tune into each of these centers.
We need all of our physical, sensory, mental and spiritual capacities to function authentically in the world. Doing my spiritual and energy practices and also doing mirror work and practicing self-love of my external features helps to integrate the inner and the outer. These are valuable practices regardless of age. I intend to keep working on them to expand my ability to see the beauty in me.
When we were young, our mother sewed most of our clothes. We dressed identically every day until in our teens we decided we each wanted to express our individuality. Until then, my identity was primarily as a twin. In those preteen years this did not disturb me. I was very close to my twin sister and we tolerated the twin treatment together.
Our facial appearance was plain and after needing eyeglasses upon starting school, those accessories added to the bookworm, plain Jane appearance. We were recognized more for academic achievement rather than any sort of beauty as we both loved school and excelled there.
Because we chose different course directions in high school, we no longer had the same classes, at least after Grade Nine. This allowed us to be seen more as individuals, instead of as a fascinating unit. We also chose different eyeglasses.
One very distinguishing mark I do have is a large purplish birth mark, starting on my right hand and going to my upper arm. It's flat and looks like clouds against the tone of my skin. Starting at a very young age, it was often covered by a sleeve for photos. I guess it was considered distracting from the focus on our similarity. However, there was never any suggestion of trying to remove it, as it does not pose any health risk. It is simply part of who I am, and even as I grew into adulthood, I did not see a reason to try to eliminate it. It is seldom commented upon, except for people meeting me the first time who are curious about it.
My perception of myself as plain and otherwise unremarkable in appearance persisted into adulthood. I enjoyed new fashion trends along with everyone else, but more typically did not choose items to make me stand out, with only a few exceptions.
Although I wore makeup, it was mainly to conceal blemishes and never more elaborate except for a special dress up occasion. My mother always wore lipstick and powdered her face before going out. That was a habit I did pick up from her. Eventually, I decided that I didn't mind accentuating my eyes by using eyebrow pencil. I never really could get comfortable with mascara or eye shadow and couldn't see the point anyway, since I wore glasses. However, I have retained the daily lipstick and eyebrow pencil practice, which remains important to me today.
Until recently, though I'd read about it previously, I did not pay much attention to the concept of mirror work. I've come across it in books written by a few personal development authors. Various kinds of exercises are suggested, which range from: looking at your face or whole body in a mirror until you can identify a certain number of positive characteristics or things you at least like, if not love, about yourself; to repeating statements of self-love or affirmations to yourself; to pretending to have a challenging conversation to overcome fear of expressing yourself.
The purpose behind all these sorts of exercises is, to nurture self-esteem and to recognize your unique beauty and characteristics. Mirror work is one of those things purported to bring amazing results if you stick with it long enough to get past your initial uneasiness or skepticism about it. I can't say that I've spent a lot of time on mirror work yet but, in the last few years I've gotten more comfortable with actually looking more when I put moisturizer on my face, when I'm blow drying my hair, or when I practice my singing in the bathroom (the acoustics are good there!).
It is perhaps always easier to see the beauty in others over ourselves. However, we are all unique individuals, even me as a twin, and part of recognizing my authenticity is in acknowledging my own characteristics of personality and appearance. It has been easier for me over the years to focus on spiritual authenticity than appearance.
A spiritual teacher whom I have quoted before, Eric Klein, recently wrote a post on the cosmos within. He was making a connection between the microcosm and the macrocosm. We exist in the universe of the earth, planets and sky. There is also the inner universe, in the form of the chakras, or energy centers. He posits that the outer is a duplicate of the inner and says that when the lower chakras are illuminated by the higher ones, we bring forth their gifts to better serve both the inner and outer worlds.
The lower energy centers, related to the needs of the body, emotions related to safety and security and personal power tend to be predominant. When the higher centers of heart connection, compassion, communication capacity and discernment are more active, there is a deeper sense of connection with life. When I use my Reiki practice on myself daily I tune into each of these centers.
We need all of our physical, sensory, mental and spiritual capacities to function authentically in the world. Doing my spiritual and energy practices and also doing mirror work and practicing self-love of my external features helps to integrate the inner and the outer. These are valuable practices regardless of age. I intend to keep working on them to expand my ability to see the beauty in me.
You ARE truly and remarkably beautiful, within and without!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jocelyn for your kind words. <3
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