Day 157 of 365 - Can We Just Be?
Most of the time, when I saw her, my Grandma was sitting in her rocker, using one foot to push back and forth, back and forth. She wore a house dress with a bib apron over it, rolled down stockings and mule style flat slippers. She mostly sat there and rocked, with this contented look on her face.
That image of my paternal grandmother was how she presented in the last years of her life. Prior to that she had lived independently in her own little cottage for many years after being widowed by the much earlier death of her husband. When she could no longer manage on her own, she moved in with a sister, my great aunt, where she was content until her dying day.
When I think of my Grandma in her rocking chair, it never crossed my mind as a youngster that she 'should' be doing anything else. I don't remember wondering why she spent so much time in that chair rocking. Maybe she was no longer able to be on her feet for long periods, or had bad circulation or something. I don't know and it just didn't matter. She simply was who she was. There was no sense of guilt or obligation about her role.
We seem to spend so much of our lives chasing after things, doing, doing, doing. Then, when life pulls the carpet out from under us through some kind of crisis, we might be forced, at least temporarily, to stop and consider what we've been doing and why.
Because our lives turn so much on the notions of productivity and consumption, our tendency is to attack whatever problem has arisen, to find a solution and resolve it so we can get back into action again. But what if we can't?
People with chronic illness have lots of time to think about who they are, what they want and the purpose of life when they are taken off the typical treadmill of activities. Likewise, people who are laid low in the short term for other reasons have a similar opportunity to reassess their values and identity.
Even if we are not in the midst of crisis, a change in life circumstances, even a positive one, like caring for an infant child, can throw us for a loop. There was many a night when, rocking a sleepless baby I wondered how I would manage to function well the next day. At those times, I tried to remind myself to be present to these special night time moments with my baby, which would be gone all too soon, while my work and my everyday chores would always be there.
It is in those times that we shift our focus perhaps to more being and less doing. If we learn to have more compassion for ourselves in trying circumstances, our decisions can be based more on inner wisdom than external obligation or guilt.
Many people are familiar with Paul McCartney's song, Let It Be. The song was inspired by a dream of his deceased mother, Mary, who came to him and simply said 'let it be'. Paul was going through a troubling time. The dream gave him great comfort and the song, beloved by so many, emerged from that inspiration.
In our modern culture, it can be hard for us to imagine that solutions to all our problems don't have to be engineered by us. If we can learn to be patient and present to the simple unfolding of life, an appropriate path often reveals itself. In the words of the song, 'there will be an answer, let it be'.
May it be so, for all of us.
That image of my paternal grandmother was how she presented in the last years of her life. Prior to that she had lived independently in her own little cottage for many years after being widowed by the much earlier death of her husband. When she could no longer manage on her own, she moved in with a sister, my great aunt, where she was content until her dying day.
When I think of my Grandma in her rocking chair, it never crossed my mind as a youngster that she 'should' be doing anything else. I don't remember wondering why she spent so much time in that chair rocking. Maybe she was no longer able to be on her feet for long periods, or had bad circulation or something. I don't know and it just didn't matter. She simply was who she was. There was no sense of guilt or obligation about her role.
We seem to spend so much of our lives chasing after things, doing, doing, doing. Then, when life pulls the carpet out from under us through some kind of crisis, we might be forced, at least temporarily, to stop and consider what we've been doing and why.
Because our lives turn so much on the notions of productivity and consumption, our tendency is to attack whatever problem has arisen, to find a solution and resolve it so we can get back into action again. But what if we can't?
People with chronic illness have lots of time to think about who they are, what they want and the purpose of life when they are taken off the typical treadmill of activities. Likewise, people who are laid low in the short term for other reasons have a similar opportunity to reassess their values and identity.
Even if we are not in the midst of crisis, a change in life circumstances, even a positive one, like caring for an infant child, can throw us for a loop. There was many a night when, rocking a sleepless baby I wondered how I would manage to function well the next day. At those times, I tried to remind myself to be present to these special night time moments with my baby, which would be gone all too soon, while my work and my everyday chores would always be there.
It is in those times that we shift our focus perhaps to more being and less doing. If we learn to have more compassion for ourselves in trying circumstances, our decisions can be based more on inner wisdom than external obligation or guilt.
Many people are familiar with Paul McCartney's song, Let It Be. The song was inspired by a dream of his deceased mother, Mary, who came to him and simply said 'let it be'. Paul was going through a troubling time. The dream gave him great comfort and the song, beloved by so many, emerged from that inspiration.
In our modern culture, it can be hard for us to imagine that solutions to all our problems don't have to be engineered by us. If we can learn to be patient and present to the simple unfolding of life, an appropriate path often reveals itself. In the words of the song, 'there will be an answer, let it be'.
May it be so, for all of us.
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