Day 149 of 365 - Making the Best of Things
This seems to be another time when several people in my circle of friends and acquaintances are dealing with various challenges, in varying degrees of severity. These challenges range from unexpected medical issues, to work related problems, to the stress of making a significant housing move, and more.
There just seem to be episodes in our lives when, in a way, the order of life which we expected to maintain falls apart. It doesn't seem right. It doesn't seem fair. What did we do to deserve this? Somebody, somewhere, should be able to fix this, to make it better. These may be some of the thoughts which cross our minds.
So, what do we do, how do we cope? Some of us are more private about our suffering and others are more open. But, in most cases, we will share our story of suffering with at least one other or, to many of the people to whom we relate.
It is this sharing which eases the burden. Sometimes we receive practical and helpful advice. Many times, the most important thing is to have someone else listen to our story, and to feel heard.
As human beings, we are empathic by nature. We are able to capture at least the essence of what it might be like to be in the other person's shoes by virtue of our own life experience, without having to experience exactly the same thing they are going through.
Everyone at some point in life, experiences all the emotions of joy, sorrow, pain, grief, shame, disappointment, bitterness, shock, and so many more. For periods of time, when everything is clicking along, going our way, we may fall under the illusion that all of life is meant to be good and sweet.
But, as Pema Chodron says in her book, When Things Fall Apart:
'Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for joy. '
Part of the way we allow room for our experience is by sharing it with others who will listen, be supportive, offer assistance, ask good questions, or just give a warm hug. This is how we know we are not alone, that maybe we can survive this after all and make the best of things, knowing that others care.
Those moments are just as sweet as when we feel on top of the world. We are all in this together.
There just seem to be episodes in our lives when, in a way, the order of life which we expected to maintain falls apart. It doesn't seem right. It doesn't seem fair. What did we do to deserve this? Somebody, somewhere, should be able to fix this, to make it better. These may be some of the thoughts which cross our minds.
So, what do we do, how do we cope? Some of us are more private about our suffering and others are more open. But, in most cases, we will share our story of suffering with at least one other or, to many of the people to whom we relate.
It is this sharing which eases the burden. Sometimes we receive practical and helpful advice. Many times, the most important thing is to have someone else listen to our story, and to feel heard.
As human beings, we are empathic by nature. We are able to capture at least the essence of what it might be like to be in the other person's shoes by virtue of our own life experience, without having to experience exactly the same thing they are going through.
Everyone at some point in life, experiences all the emotions of joy, sorrow, pain, grief, shame, disappointment, bitterness, shock, and so many more. For periods of time, when everything is clicking along, going our way, we may fall under the illusion that all of life is meant to be good and sweet.
But, as Pema Chodron says in her book, When Things Fall Apart:
'Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for joy. '
Part of the way we allow room for our experience is by sharing it with others who will listen, be supportive, offer assistance, ask good questions, or just give a warm hug. This is how we know we are not alone, that maybe we can survive this after all and make the best of things, knowing that others care.
Those moments are just as sweet as when we feel on top of the world. We are all in this together.
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