Day 136 of 365 - Girl Talk
Last night I watched a Chick Flick on Netflix. It was a popular movie in theatres last year, which many women said was a 'must see'. The premise was four women who were longtime friends, now in their senior years, facing the typical issues of senior women. All of them seemed financially secure, well dressed and in very comfortable living situations. They seemed more or less content, until one of them threw out a challenge to the group via her book club choice of the infamous Fifty Shades of Grey - a book I have not read, nor have any interest in reading.
Each of their lives takes on a new spin and a lot of distress as they feel compelled to get themselves back 'out there' and revive their romantic lives. There were some good points to the story but overall, I was disappointed with it, even irritated. Frankly, I don't know what all the hype was about.
The first thing that bothered me about it was, that senior women were portrayed as somehow 'less than' for just being themselves. The characters went through different scenarios to make themselves look younger, trimmer, more beautiful, to attract a man. They felt inadequate in their relationship encounters even though they were quite independent and successful in other areas of their lives, as well as having solid friendships.
Another thing that was particularly irritating to me, not just in this movie, but a seeming commonality in the current rom-com formats, is the frequent turning to drinking as a strategy for almost any distress. In scene after scene, these women were shown pouring glasses of wine to cope as they tried troubleshooting various issues. Seriously, what about exercising, going for a walk, meditating as an alternative?
Some of the women in my circle are single and have tried the online dating scene for the over 50 demographic. We are comfortable enough in each other's company for them to share their experiences. It was quite a learning experience for all of them, whether they ended up with a partner or not. It seemed clear that the standard of expectation, particularly in appearance, was much higher for women than men for one thing. Some just could not get past the notion of seeming to have to make themselves over in order to 'hook' someone, and let the idea go.
I have nothing against romantic relationships for seniors, or their desire for personal companionship, but I also understand the desire of friends who just want to 'be who they are' at this stage of life. If a new relationship or friendship becomes a part of that, that's great too, but I hope it does not need to be some big orchestrated event.
Thankfully, the women in the movie, as well as women in my circle, could rely on the support of their friends. To quote author Anne Lamott from her book Almost Everything, regarding friends and hard times - "What helps is that we are not all crazy and hopeless on the same day. One of us remembers and reminds the rest of us that when it is really dark you can see the stars." May it always be so.
Each of their lives takes on a new spin and a lot of distress as they feel compelled to get themselves back 'out there' and revive their romantic lives. There were some good points to the story but overall, I was disappointed with it, even irritated. Frankly, I don't know what all the hype was about.
The first thing that bothered me about it was, that senior women were portrayed as somehow 'less than' for just being themselves. The characters went through different scenarios to make themselves look younger, trimmer, more beautiful, to attract a man. They felt inadequate in their relationship encounters even though they were quite independent and successful in other areas of their lives, as well as having solid friendships.
Another thing that was particularly irritating to me, not just in this movie, but a seeming commonality in the current rom-com formats, is the frequent turning to drinking as a strategy for almost any distress. In scene after scene, these women were shown pouring glasses of wine to cope as they tried troubleshooting various issues. Seriously, what about exercising, going for a walk, meditating as an alternative?
Some of the women in my circle are single and have tried the online dating scene for the over 50 demographic. We are comfortable enough in each other's company for them to share their experiences. It was quite a learning experience for all of them, whether they ended up with a partner or not. It seemed clear that the standard of expectation, particularly in appearance, was much higher for women than men for one thing. Some just could not get past the notion of seeming to have to make themselves over in order to 'hook' someone, and let the idea go.
I have nothing against romantic relationships for seniors, or their desire for personal companionship, but I also understand the desire of friends who just want to 'be who they are' at this stage of life. If a new relationship or friendship becomes a part of that, that's great too, but I hope it does not need to be some big orchestrated event.
Thankfully, the women in the movie, as well as women in my circle, could rely on the support of their friends. To quote author Anne Lamott from her book Almost Everything, regarding friends and hard times - "What helps is that we are not all crazy and hopeless on the same day. One of us remembers and reminds the rest of us that when it is really dark you can see the stars." May it always be so.
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