Day 126 of 365 - Ninety Seconds
Yesterday, I watched an interesting interview with psychologist Joan Rosenberg. The ideas I'm talking about in this post are based on her work as a clinician. The context for the interview was topics related to heart disease in women. This interview was delving more into emotional stresses.
Whenever we experience an emotional trauma, regardless of our age, if not processed it stays in the body and can lead to an eventual physical insult. For more references related to this, you can look up follow up studies about Adverse Childhood Experiences which indicate the likelihood of various kinds of illness in adulthood based on a person's score on the ACE checklist.
How we experience feelings is generally through body sensations. For example, we will find something 'gut wrenching', or feel it as a 'stab in the back'. Mostly, we tend to move away from pain and unpleasant feelings. But, once we tolerate the sensation it will tell us about the underlying feeling and we can process it for learning.
Dr. Rosenberg has found that most people who come for help in therapy have trouble with what they think, how they think, what they feel and how they manage that. She has developed a formula which she teaches her clients to help them lean into unpleasant feelings and learn from them. She has an upcoming book called 90 Seconds to a Life You Love.
The formula is: One Choice, 8 Feelings, 90 Seconds.
The one choice is, to choose to stay aware of your moment to moment experience, as much as you can bear.
The 8 feelings are ones which typically arise. They include: sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, vulnerability, embarrassment, disappointment and frustration. These are our most common reactions to situations. You may wonder why fear and anxiety are not in this list. She feels those are commonly used inappropriately. Fear is related to life threat. Anxiety is unexperienced and unexpressed feeling, or a cover for the eight unpleasant feelings. Using the correct label for the feeling makes it easier to manage and process.
The 90 seconds aspect is very interesting and is a concept I have heard from others before. When a feeling arises, bodily sensations are activated. It's a neurochemical response which creates the uncomfortable sensation which we prefer to turn away from or numb out. However, it turns out that this neurochemical response will flush out in about 90 seconds. If we can ride it out and stay present for that time, the sensation will tell us about the feeling. This can help us to become more responsive and less reactive.
What does any of this have to do with women and heart disease? Well, as mentioned earlier, emotional trauma can be stored in the body, including in the heart. As much as women are notorious for having 'women's intuition', we are also notorious for stuffing our feelings while busily taking care of the needs of others. Intuition is the wisdom of the body. Women can stop doubting their bodily reactions, learn to trust them and identify the underlying feelings.
This discussion has prompted my thinking more about intuition, focusing on the body and the fascinating area of the relationship between our emotions and nervous system. I intend to explore those topics more in future posts.
Whenever we experience an emotional trauma, regardless of our age, if not processed it stays in the body and can lead to an eventual physical insult. For more references related to this, you can look up follow up studies about Adverse Childhood Experiences which indicate the likelihood of various kinds of illness in adulthood based on a person's score on the ACE checklist.
How we experience feelings is generally through body sensations. For example, we will find something 'gut wrenching', or feel it as a 'stab in the back'. Mostly, we tend to move away from pain and unpleasant feelings. But, once we tolerate the sensation it will tell us about the underlying feeling and we can process it for learning.
Dr. Rosenberg has found that most people who come for help in therapy have trouble with what they think, how they think, what they feel and how they manage that. She has developed a formula which she teaches her clients to help them lean into unpleasant feelings and learn from them. She has an upcoming book called 90 Seconds to a Life You Love.
The formula is: One Choice, 8 Feelings, 90 Seconds.
The one choice is, to choose to stay aware of your moment to moment experience, as much as you can bear.
The 8 feelings are ones which typically arise. They include: sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, vulnerability, embarrassment, disappointment and frustration. These are our most common reactions to situations. You may wonder why fear and anxiety are not in this list. She feels those are commonly used inappropriately. Fear is related to life threat. Anxiety is unexperienced and unexpressed feeling, or a cover for the eight unpleasant feelings. Using the correct label for the feeling makes it easier to manage and process.
The 90 seconds aspect is very interesting and is a concept I have heard from others before. When a feeling arises, bodily sensations are activated. It's a neurochemical response which creates the uncomfortable sensation which we prefer to turn away from or numb out. However, it turns out that this neurochemical response will flush out in about 90 seconds. If we can ride it out and stay present for that time, the sensation will tell us about the feeling. This can help us to become more responsive and less reactive.
What does any of this have to do with women and heart disease? Well, as mentioned earlier, emotional trauma can be stored in the body, including in the heart. As much as women are notorious for having 'women's intuition', we are also notorious for stuffing our feelings while busily taking care of the needs of others. Intuition is the wisdom of the body. Women can stop doubting their bodily reactions, learn to trust them and identify the underlying feelings.
This discussion has prompted my thinking more about intuition, focusing on the body and the fascinating area of the relationship between our emotions and nervous system. I intend to explore those topics more in future posts.
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