Day 77 of 365 - The Dark and The Light
Although the winter solstice is not officially until tomorrow, December 21st, I'm choosing to write again today about the contrast of dark and light since tonight will be almost the darkest night of our year. Perhaps what I share today will inspire what you ponder during the solstice time tomorrow.
Everyone's life has periods when there is more darkness than light. As mentioned in other posts, this has been a challenging year of losses for me and others in my circle. The seasonal changes remind us of the natural cycles of darkness and light, and that there is always a return to the light.
Especially when we have been through darker times, the solstice is a good time to empty ourselves, to be still and to trust that there will be a rebirth of brighter times. We don't necessarily know what that will look like. But, we do usually know that just holding it together is not really helping us.
We can rediscover meaning and purpose in our life by taking some quiet time to reflect on our core values. When life feels empty we can feel disconnected from what we value most. They have always been there throughout our lives, in both the highs and the lows. Sometimes we forget.
To reclaim our core values, we can start by remembering those times that we felt most connected to something greater than ourselves. Remember how that felt, not just in your mind, but in your body and emotions.
Another author whose work I admire very much is Brené Brown. In her current book, Dare To Lead, she describes a values exercise she has done with thousands of people. She says: "Choose one or two values - the beliefs that are most important and dear to you, that help you find your way in the dark, that fill you with a feeling of purpose. As you read them, you should feel a deep resonance of self-identification." (You can find lists of values easily online for reference.)
The reason she insists on only one or two core values is that those are the ones that define how we live our lives. There may be several other values that relate to those or feed into them, but there are usually only a couple that we consistently live by.
We can usually remember times when we have fully lived into our core values and when we have not. When we are in difficult times it's important to have empathy from someone who knows and supports us, as well as having compassion for ourselves. Knowing we are living by our values is not always a wonderful moment. It is more deeply affirming and real.
For example, one of my core values is self-discipline. It's one I've returned to over and over again through my life, in both good times and bad. I still get to choose whether to live by that value or whether to struggle with life. But it is always there, ready to guide me back to the light. Your values are as well.
Everyone's life has periods when there is more darkness than light. As mentioned in other posts, this has been a challenging year of losses for me and others in my circle. The seasonal changes remind us of the natural cycles of darkness and light, and that there is always a return to the light.
Especially when we have been through darker times, the solstice is a good time to empty ourselves, to be still and to trust that there will be a rebirth of brighter times. We don't necessarily know what that will look like. But, we do usually know that just holding it together is not really helping us.
We can rediscover meaning and purpose in our life by taking some quiet time to reflect on our core values. When life feels empty we can feel disconnected from what we value most. They have always been there throughout our lives, in both the highs and the lows. Sometimes we forget.
To reclaim our core values, we can start by remembering those times that we felt most connected to something greater than ourselves. Remember how that felt, not just in your mind, but in your body and emotions.
Another author whose work I admire very much is Brené Brown. In her current book, Dare To Lead, she describes a values exercise she has done with thousands of people. She says: "Choose one or two values - the beliefs that are most important and dear to you, that help you find your way in the dark, that fill you with a feeling of purpose. As you read them, you should feel a deep resonance of self-identification." (You can find lists of values easily online for reference.)
The reason she insists on only one or two core values is that those are the ones that define how we live our lives. There may be several other values that relate to those or feed into them, but there are usually only a couple that we consistently live by.
We can usually remember times when we have fully lived into our core values and when we have not. When we are in difficult times it's important to have empathy from someone who knows and supports us, as well as having compassion for ourselves. Knowing we are living by our values is not always a wonderful moment. It is more deeply affirming and real.
For example, one of my core values is self-discipline. It's one I've returned to over and over again through my life, in both good times and bad. I still get to choose whether to live by that value or whether to struggle with life. But it is always there, ready to guide me back to the light. Your values are as well.
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