Day 69 of 365 - The Many Choices We Have

For the most part, I am a person who likes organization and living according to regular routines.  But, sometimes at busy times of year, such as the holiday season, the to do list is long and it feels like drudgery to try to get everything done.

Or, it can feel this way any time of year, actually, when we just feel overwhelmed, tired and worn out.  Sometimes I wonder how I managed to juggle so many balls in my earlier years of working, raising a family and managing a home.  I think I must have been running on adrenaline most of the time.

It feels a bit strange at this stage of my life to feel some days like I have too much to do.  But, it does, so I'm addressing it.

What I've been doing lately when this happens, instead of getting all frazzled, frustrated and resentful about it, is a reality check.  I stop and I say to myself "You know Joan, most of what you have on your list is a choice.  You get to choose whether you do it at all, when you do it and how you do it.  Nobody is forcing you to do most of these things.  So, take a moment to decide whether you want to approach it differently".

Then, I give myself permission to change priorities, strike things off the list, break them down to smaller tasks which can be spread out, or just go ahead with the original plan.  What I have been surprised about when I do this is, that my day is often more productive.

I think the key pieces for me are recognizing and acknowledging that I DO have a lot of choice and that I CAN give myself permission about them.

The concept of responsibility is a huge one for me.  It is an attribute that I have been proud of over most of my life.  If I say I'm going to do something, you can pretty well count on it happening, unless there are extenuating circumstances.

The downside of being a very responsible person is that it is easy to take on too much, mainly for the sake of the approval of others.  Once you are on that path, you don't want to disappoint people by saying no to something.  It's only in recent years that I've given myself more priority and been able to place my own needs higher on the list.

There's a newer expression that has become popular, that is the phrase 'that's a hard no'.  Who comes up with these things?  I smile when I hear it but I also think it's very clear.  It's an expression I could have used a lot in my past.  I can't really imagine myself saying it but, yup, it's effective.

So go ahead.  If you are feeling overwhelmed, write yourself a permission slip.  You'll be glad you did.

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